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 Bottled Water Semi Update

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Join date : 2010-10-18
Age : 31
Location : Mile High

PostSubject: Bottled Water Semi Update   Fri Sep 23, 2011 11:28 pm

I don't feel like bringing up the old thread, so fuck it.

Bottled water is a fucking delicious scam and I can't break my addiction to the false promises of its purity. I buy cases of it. I put weird little Crystal Light packets in it just like Eminem. There are empty bottles all over my car, room and coughs*neighbor'sbackyard*cough. I recently watched a documentary about bottled water. Fuck you all.

I'm drinking the same filthy shit that runs through my faucet, but by drinking it out of a sexy plastic bottle, I'm adding a little bit of delicious cancer to that shit. You know Dasani; that shit put out by Coca-Cola? Well, it's tap water. In fact, all of that fucking bottled water is tap water. I remember first dealing with this when Dasani was exposed a few years ago. Before the truth came out, I was addicted to it. It tasted great to me. But one day it sort of tasted like an aspirin dipped in shit and I put it down. Tap water is like that sometimes, which is why I only use that shit to, I don't know, shower, brush my teeth, wash my hair and water my shitty grass with. cryface

Before Dasani, I used to drink Arrowhead, and let's just end that. It didn't taste like shit-dipped aspirin; just aspirin. Very Happy Shocked cryface

When I went to college, all that was allowed to be stocked in their vending machines was Aquafina. I've stuck with that shit ever since because the university I attended was full up stuck-up, picky, wealthy brats and I figure if they had no problems with it, then I don't. Plus, it tastes really good.

Nestle Purelife is allegedly rated the cleanest bottled water, according to some bullshit study probably paid for by Nestle. That's funny because their water tastes like grinded up iron pills with a hint of propylene glycol, which makes sense because I get sick every time I drink it.

I guess what I'm getting at is that in the documentary, there was this discussion about the safety of bottled water in terms of how often and if it ever is tested. You can find information on your city's drinking water very easily, and if they're good, which my city is good, you'll actually get pamphlets every few months that list all of the results and ingredients in your drinking water. You can't get that information from ANY of the bottled water companies. That information doesn't exist because just like in that movie "Cabin Fever," a fucking huge truck just pulls up to a lake, sucks that shit dry, and sells it to the people who live in that same fucking area. It happened just like that in the documentary, and the residents couldn't fight it. Um...you can fight it by NOT buying the stupid shit you retards, lol.

But I live in Denver and the water tastes like decayed fish pulled from Ron Jeremy's asshole, so I have a right to drink your city's tap water if I please.

The point I'm trying to make is that for most of you folk, bottled water is a scam because the shit flows freely, and I do mean almost freely, seeing as how it's only about $30 bucks a month to go apeshit on city water, whereas if you bought that same amount in bottle sizes, you probably would only have enough to flush the toilet, maybe wash your hands, and possibly wash like one armpit.

Ask me what is success
Nigga, success is when your no mean no and your yes means yes
And you can stand by your word cuz your word is your balls
Lose one you're losing them all

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Everyone else has had more sex than me.
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